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Ben Glass
Ben Glass
Attorney • (703) 584-7277

Middle School "No Touch" Rule is Nuts

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OK, OK, this might not be directly related to the law but it is about life, so I’m writing about it.

It’s bad enough when schools ban dodgeball, soccer, football and the like. My seven year old tells me that when they play kickball, they can’t throw the ball at the runnner to get them “out.” (Those games on Jayhawk Street in Annandale would have gone on forever without being able to throw the ball at someone to get them out.)

It seems, though that Kilmer Middle School in Fairfax County has banned all touching. That’s right! No “high fives,” no handholding amongst consenting middle schoolers, no hugging.

Their reasons (according to quotes in the Washington Post):

1. one things leads to another
2. we are too crowded

Well, OK, why stop at touching?

I’ve got two more rules for the administration at Kilmer Middle School:

1. No talking at all (I remember that from my parochial school days at good ‘ol St. Mike’s in Annandale.
2. Just walk around with your hands on top of your head (I saw that once in a movie about San Quentin

That will keep order!